The Colbert Report/Episode/495
Production Info |- |} |- |} The Check-In * Dr. Colbert thanks his Jewish friend for coming to his intervention and won't allow him to leave without getting help (he's blinded by his disease, which is killing Sharon) * Dr. Colbert confused him with Jon Mankewicz and decided he needed to stop drinking Intro News * Dr. Colbert begins the show bowing deeply as His Mob begins chanting USA! USA! * it's tough for Stephen * Inaugural Advent Calendar, is it Zoloft? (No, it's Paxil!) * Obama is killing Stephen, by living out all his fantasies ** becoming president ** pissing off DiFi ** being the meat in a Bush sandwich * Stephen even looked for good news in the NYT ** they've announced they are selling ad space on the front page * Speaking of which, Stephen could go for some Sierra Mist ** it tastes Sponsor-y * a Pulitzer doesn't smell like 3-day old Krugman * no stories since Monday * will the Senate let Burris in ** or keep him out!? * no stories since Monday * will the Senate let Burris in ** or keep him out!? * Lego hair model- Rod Balgojevich * Dems want to keep the Senate an all-white club ** because of racism * Dems want to keep the only black senator to themselves ** because of racism New Feature * Burris will be senator because the Lord put his hands on Blagojevich ** his halo is obscured by his chinchilla brain cozy * Someone has to speak for God ** it should be Stephen * Yahweh Or No Way * Is Roland Burris really God's chosen Senator ** performs miracles any where he goes, a podium appears * Yahweh! ** Balgo did talk to god, the FBI has the taped phone conversation * Pat Robertson * like an Magic 8-ball ** yes ** maybe ** Blame the gays * Jim Cramer IS Jesus * No Way-- false idol * God would never endorse socialism * Neil Donald Walsh, author os "Passages from God" ** posted a story on Beliefnet * God expresses exasperation ** Oh, banana *** never Oh, pumpkin (never takes the goard's name in vain) * also made Star Trek reference * Yahweh-- Walsh did not plagiarize ** stole flood from Gilgamesh and burning Bush from Dick Cheney Clearing The Air * demolished Jason Chaffetz in a leg wrestling match ** his constituents will better know that he has the hamstring strength of a newborn * on "Good Morning Utah," he demanded a rematch * his legs cannot support a lady bug's torso * Dr. Colbert actually already won three of the three matches (only one was aired) * Stephen will Kronk (sp) their Yunkys (sp) ** even their Dopler 5000 weather machine * entire KNX(sp) news team will eat it at 5,6,8,10 and 11 Interview * Lawrence Lessig * has written a book about how our copyright laws are outdated, which sounds to Stephen like a great idea for a book * book: "Remix: Making Art and Commerce Thrive in the Hybrid Economy" * a hybrid economy ** a free-share economy (remixing) like flickr (the users do the work, flickr makes the money) *** taking work and remixing it * totally failed war ** for 10 years artists have gotten no money ** businesses aren't making more money ** kids are becoming criminals * Congress cannot do a thing about it * 24 laws in 10 years to deal this problem * wants Congress to focus on real issues * Stephen remade Lessig's book to give it more value if it were sold on eBay than what other copies could get on Amazon * Stephen warns the Heroes not to remix the interview to a dance mix * copyright is eternal * artistic socialism * the system works for Stephen Epilogue * Dr. Colbert ends the show reading the book he remixed, declaring it a great book! ** and by shouting "Go Gators!" Gallery Image:IntroLawrenceLessig1-8-2009.jpg Image:BookRemix1-8-2009.jpg Image:LawrenceLessig1-8-2009.jpg Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments